I need to get my life together.

It's been almost 10 months of having my totally awesome baby around. He is adorable. Playful. Aware. Smart and gorgeous.

Yet as the time passes I realize I don't recognize my mom self. I am sure someone out there feels the same, right? Now a working in the actual, paying job world is different than working at home obviously. I have a lot more free brain space. Sometimes I want to text the husband and say "hey, do you know where the tootsie rolls are?" or "I think the back deck needs some color" and then I realize... wow big problems I have huh? He probably has work problems to worry about so I won't bother him.

Don't get me wrong. I have NEVER been the over dressed one at any gathering. I have always tried to be as comfortable but cute as possible. I am cool with going a few days with no shower. I know, I know, I am grossssss. But not really. It takes a lot of effort to get ready and I am lazy sometimes. No make up? Yeah that doesn't bother me either. But what a difference it makes! Wow. Without make up, I would be a scary individual.
Want an example??...

Prepare yourself...

Just keeping it real.

But if I put on some make up... at least I don't scare people in public!..

 

I clearly dyed my hair. Do you hate it?? Let me know. Anyway..

But let's be serious here, pre-baby weight was rad (and I was pregnant here clearly!)

Do you like blonde better? 

I remember back when the baby was born... I went thru a stage of, what's the difference? I don't need new clothes. I am not going anywhere. And that was hard. It was a slightly depressed mind frame and that isn't ever fun. Any new mom has to find a new self... and I hope I find the motivation soon.

I buy cuter clothes in the fall! You are either a summer person or a fall and I love fall to the fullest. Leggings rock my world. I'm totally cool with wearing them as pants everyday. I become motivated to do things... because I wont be sweating three minutes after stepping outside. Yet, I am struggling with finding the 10 month mom motivation. My teeth are no longer shiny white. I probably still have 8 baby pounds to lose (ah, dieting was never my thing, or exercising... I just maintained the weight I was) I am crazy pale. I know tanning is terrible for you... so I am leaving spray tanning on the table as well. I just wonder when it will feel like "time"? I hope soon. Because I need to get my life together. And probably clean something too.

And just for kicks... my baby is cute...

 

So tell me... how long did it take before you started feeling motivated to look good vs just have food on your clothes!??!

xoxoxo 

PS- I apologize my pictures are all funky... I will figure out how to fix that someday?!?

Living room sleeping- to crib- to co- to crib.

As a new mom, most of the time, you aren't sure what to do. New, new babies are hard to make decisions for obviously and I remember being very overwhelmed because I always want to make the right one. So that's why we started sleeping in the living room. I wasn't unfamiliar with the couch because during most of my pregnancy it was the only place I could sleep. You slept on the couch too, at some point right? Hopefully it's not only me.

Anyway... so the baby slept in the rock n play and I slept on the couch until about month five? I put it in the blog here. So the crib was going okay, but he would wake up 5 times a night and I would have to go put in his binky so one day (or I guess I should say, night) I put him in the bed with me. I never even thought to co-sleep. ever. and then you become a new parent and you just want to SLEEP.  As I've said before (I think?) every baby is different. My baby always did pretty good with going to sleep on his own. We got lucky. Some babies have to be rocked and rolled, and sang and shushed... we were lucky in that way. But he never slept more than 3 hours in a row. So not so lucky there.

So then it started slowly progressing to the bed ALL THE TIME. Don't get me wrong... it was nice to hold his hand while he drifted into baby dreaming land.... I slept soundly (in the beginning) and he slept pretty soundly. But fast forward to 9 months...

I was tired of bear hugging him to get him to go to sleep. I was tired of my husband or I sprinting up the steps every time he woke up, which was often, to make sure he didn't fall off the bed. I was tired of being woken up numerous times a night and this was only me... my husband slept soundly in a different room (because I feel he deserves the sleep since he has to go to work) I was REALLY tired of being woken up to a baby who was ready to go, go, go punch me in the head. Bite my hair. Jump over to the side tables... when I was like whoa, yo kid I need a second to find my glasses. So basically, the cute hand holding stopped, and it was no longer fun.

We talked about the crib often. Of course if the baby had woken up a bunch, my husband told me it was because we didnt put him in the crib to sleep. If his teeth were bothering him, it was because we should start putting him in the crib. If we ran out of toilet paper, it was because I should have put him in the crib. You get the point.

So a few weeks ago... I had the gut, it was time. I had to get myself mentally prepared... change the sheets... get all of the crap out if it that I had been storing in there... and we were doing it up! As a new mom, you just have to go with you gut... if it doesn't feel right... it's probably not.

And guess what new moms??? I didn't give him enough credit. And I am very pleased.

We (well Husband) put him in there... and put his hand on his chest... with all the bells and whistles of course (sound machine, light up night/music thing, fan) and at some point without a lot of fight he fell asleep. He woke up a few times a night at first, and of course I assumed it wasn't working. He would cry some nights at bed time, and I assumed it wouldn't ever work. But he slowly started to get it! And is still working on it I think... I've had two straight nights with one or no wake ups! He has had a few days of waking up quietly in the morning and playing... until dad comes to get him out (I am still sleeping in the room... so I throw the covers over my head to make sure he doesn't see me lol) but I am REALLY shocked how well it's going. We even do most of our naps in there! It is by no means perfect yet... but I listened to my gut and it seemed to be right.

I'll take any progress.... because co-sleeping is great for some people... although I don't know how they do it... but I feel for me... I needed the separation at night... at least a little... because we are glued to each other all day. Allllllllllllll day. And seriously... I think babies need it. They need that personal space... to relax and know they are safe.

So let's keep our fingers crossed...
It just gives you, as a parent, a sense of normal life.... without a baby ruling every single minute. It is worth the trouble... and generally works out much faster than you'd assume. So if you are debating using the crib again... I hope this helps you :)

I suck at blogging.

This blog is anxiety on my list of anxieties. ! I am sweeping and thinking, crap I should probably update the blog. I'll be driving and thinking, man I should really update that blog. Sometimes I think, maybe I'll delete it so I can stop feeling bad!!!  But that is a commitment to quitting .... so please anyone who reads.. know I will update every so often and when he gets older I will do more!

You can also follow us on instagram @ zaralex :) because he is cute... let's be serious...

Lets look at some pictures!

And this was his 9 month picture... I swear I will do a 10 month post!

He was watching tv.... but he was still, so that is good.

Every baby develops differently. And all I know is my own, and I know not to compare.. because as my tride and true rule goes... at 15 he will def. eat.sleep.stand.crawl.talk and be awesome all on his own. It's okay if he isn't doing them all right now but he is learning and growing.

If you play peekaboo and chase him he will laugh and run away. He is starting to understand sometimes the lid on his sippy cup is down and I watch him flip it back and forth trying to figure it out. He grabs tons of food but only gets in one or two pieces (the rest is on the floor) but watching his nugget hand trying to get it all is great. He will lean forward and look over his car seat when he is expecting more snacks to be handed to him from afar.. (I am surprised more mom do not get in more accidents! ... with the binky finding, and the snack providing, and leaning alllll the way out of the seat belt to get a toy that is super far away) or maybe I just spoil him.. that could be it too.
He is tricky too because when I say "want to look outside?" he looks right at the window... but when I say "say mama" or "where's dada" he looks around like - I am ignoring you woman.

He is just very enjoyable. He gives you a smile when you walk away for a minute and come back like he has never seen you before! We are lucky... he is a joy...

more soon

xoxoxox

WAIT - THE BIGGEST NEWS! LAST NIGHT HE SLEPT IN HIS CRIB WITHOUT WAKING UP FROM 7:30-6:00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, he might have woken up at 10:30ish but I was still awake so that doesn't count.
To all you new moms out there who think your kid will sleep by ten months.. pfftt.. I wish you luck sistas.
Will it ever happen again? I don't know. But once was glorious!!!! He really has impressed me with his crib usage... maybe I will write on that later :)