What a difference a day makes.

The baby has been much nicer the last two days. For no reason to my knowledge, he just has.

I took him to the doctor as I mentioned before, and she said for his weight (16.5lbs) he was very under dosed on his acid reflux medicine. The ironic part is, he is probably that weight because he is soothing himself with food and we assume he is just a hungry fussy baby so we feed him. He is now doubling his amount daily and I am hoping he is feeling better in a week or so.

But regardless the last two days he has been sweet, and nice and taking pretty good naps.

I feel like today I had lots of ideas for my blog tonight but I am drawing a blank. I need to clean a chair were hopefully selling (via craigslist) tomorrow morning so I guess I'll do that instead.

My mom thought for the day... I am glad there are other moms that will support you in making your own decisions. I am glad people tell you their struggles, and "mom moments" and I am thankful for social media bringing a supportive hand when needed.

I also wished today they could make mommy scented mattresses :) my sweet man has been enjoying falling asleep on his mama lately... and I feel bad putting him down... its such wonderful when he closes his eyes upon being placed in my arms. He is a sweet, chubby pudga muffin and I don't want to forget that love.

Does anyone have any good mom blog recommendations??  I finished all my others... and need a new late night hobby. For nights like this when my blog is lame... 

I apologize. Again. But I need to clean a chair. 

 

Today gets a "whoa nelly"

Whoa nelly. Today was rough.

I contemplate writing these types of posts because who is even reading it? But just in case someone is in the same situation and they do read this maybe they will feel someone else is getting it.

Have you ever wanted to go up to another mom in a grocery store and ask "when does it get easier?" yeah I thought about it today. Today was not easy. The only reason I was even at the dumb new whole foods (not impressed, it was whatever, who needs to go to the grocery store and make their own bath salts??!?!?!?) is because I had to literally talk myself through today. That I was going to breathe. I was going to try to love my child into happiness. That I was going to be patient, and take a shower and put on make up. That I was going to do things out of the ordinary so that my day didn't seem the same. It was whoa nelly. As I said.

He has been crying a lot lately. I don't know what it is... He has always been kinda whiney... but we've had happier times for sure. It seems like lately the smallest thing will send him into hysterics and I want to cover my ears and pray he stops. Today I prayed someone watching over us (because I believe there is) would give me a small break, that he would sleep. And he did. But it didn't improve his mood. I could go on for awhile about all the details... but I don't want to sound like a terrible person who can't deal (again I could write an entire post on this) either way, I made a doctors appointment tomorrow and I AM PRAYING she tells me he has teeth coming in or an ear infection (I know he doesn't lol) or just something I can use as a reason because right now I have nothing. I am pretty sure she's not going to tell me any such thing...

I promise I am trying to think outside of the box and not let it bother me. I even stopped to help a lady with her cart at the store whereas normally I'd be like ah Im sure she can handle it.

Im too tired to be thankful. I feel bad about that. Maybe tomorrow will bring answers, or a happier day...

Crib update!

So, for the last few nights we have been using our crib! For half the night at least. He will go down around 8pm, mostly well, sleeps like a good boy. (and tonight daddy did the bath so I could relax (read blogs) for 8 minutes) We have the awesome stars still shining on the ceiling, and I have the sound machine blasting. Then he will normally have another feeding around midnight, and he's woken up in the middle of the night and I will put him in the bed in the room with me... and we'll try to hold off feeding for a little longer. Which is normally by 6am when he ruins our slumber with loud poops. Babies. But regardless... little by little... we're getting there!!!!

I do need to figure out a way to give him a warm bottle fast, because homeboy doesn't like waiting for his bottle. So that is something I need to work on.

In other news, I am hoping to get to the point where when I leave the house... I am not so worried about him freaking out that I actually remember to bring things he needs. Today I forgot his blanket, a change of clothes, burp clothes and intentionally only brought one bottle, but that was still kinda lame. I have always been one of those.. ah we'll survive without it (aka we'll just buy what we need) type person but I need to be more reasonable about having a baby. When he spits up all over himself, he might not want to sit in it. I will try to do better.

And the baby news of the day.....

 well firstly, he is adorable. but that was known.

My pudga muffin tried some bananas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It ended in that last picture after a total of about a teaspoon, but that was probably just due to his whiney nature. He doesn't like that seat... or any seat really... but still! My child, who always looks puzzled, tried his bananas like a big boy! As most moms know, when you give a new baby food they kinda just move their tongue around but I am glad it was mostly successful. (and as a side note, these are tired eyes :( )


And as a side note- in working on making my blog a little better... my goal for this week was to learn how to make my photos bigger. As you can see I succeeded. Luckily, it was insanely easy. Thank you google.

Today I am thankful for -
the smiles I get from baby during the day (mixed with a lot of crying) and the happy stars on his ceiling :)

I want to remember his favorite cat toy that he laughs and laughs at no matter how many times you use it.
<3

I am NOT getting my hopes up...

but RIGHT NOW, right this very moment but child has been asleep in his crib for 5.5 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was sleepy very early, and I thought I'd give it a try. We ate, and rocked and somehow went in our crib and slept for 4 hours! Then I went up before he really started to cry (just fidgety) and I gave that gorgeous baby his bottle (and medicine mixed with some tylenol for good measure) and he went back in and went to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I cant even explain how awesome it was. Now it is 12:26am so we've got some time but still. Anyway... I just wanted to blog about it when it was freshly on my mind... 

A friend gave us one of the animals that project the stars on the ceiling (it also plays music and has a heart sound) and I used that as the light to feed him with. I personally love stars, but seeing just the blue glimmer on top of his baby blue eyes was absolute perfection. We also have the sound machine in there, which I gave up custody of and am allowing him to borrow .... so I stopped that during feeding, and used the music and stars and turned it back on when he went back down. 

I have no idea how the rest of the night will go, but honestly this half night win was awesome!!!!!!!!  Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you baby for cooperating. 

It is also my two year wedding anniversary (that sounds so adult) so happy anniversary to my husband. thanks for putting up with my insanity. 

We can end with that for now. this was just a quick post... ill get back to all my normal thanks and what not for tomorrow... xoxoxo

Blogs are my friends.

It's scary reading so many blogs. I have always been a person into details, in most cases. I want to know all the details about a person. If someone is new in my life I generally ask all types of things that seem completely pointless... but it gives me a point of reference if those people mention the things again. Now, some people I dont really care that much about so I don't ask. But, the problem with mom bloggers is I feel like I hear all their life details, and I like them but I do not know them in real life therefore my life on the internet after 10pm and real life are blurring and I am sure it's not normal. But whatever. Ironically enough while pregnant I kept telling the husband I need mom friends... I am sure this is not what he was expecting. I never even read a blog before this all started.. I never knew it was such a community. I always thought, why would you want to read someones random thoughts on a computer screen and now I think about them all day. I think about what I could put in my blog (ps- i never put any of them because I am lazy. Probably not going to make for a successful blog huh) and I think about other peoples blogs and how I look forward to reading them later. I wish I knew these people... I wish I had the determination to make my blog awesome like theirs, so I could go to conferences and what not.. I also wonder if they started out just like me.. never knowing it would actually be read by anyone.

I also have ideas that they have had and I stop and think, well crap maybe I am not bad at this! but then I go back to my boring blog where I havent even learned how to put up pictures quickly... and realize it might not ever be anything.  That all sounded like a pity party didnt it lol? I didnt mean it to be so. Just sharing.  Point of the story- this girl is my new read. I started out in august 2009... it was perfect because it was the birth of her baby... so I didn't read anything before that but I have managed to get caught up enough. That's the great thing about this whole blog obsession... I literally read EVERY single post from a certain date on (and her blog is awesome because it's very easy to go into the archives, and scroll through all the posts in order) and it gives me a whole new person to get to know.

It's been very interesting to hear her talk about the things I have thought so far about motherhood. Her and others of course. But to know I am not alone in the not-so-super-gushy parts is very reassuring. I will say it again, I love him to pieces... but I was very independent before and motherhood is a tricky change. But we make it everyday, in one piece, and with love in our hearts at the end. So therefore, were doing just fine.

So I will certainly work on being better. Better at using this savvy internet, better at getting cute pictures on here, and better at believing in myself.  We'll see... but if you read this ever... tell a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now- here are some pictures to prove I am working on it.....

 Dude always looks surprised. He comes from his spastic father.

 babylegs. looking goooood.

 chunky, sitting in his throw up inducing bumbo.

 cuteeeeeeeee legs.

 we took our boppy back!!!! thats right...

 the cats may not longer use it... until he gets too too big.

 I mean, a baby in a pullover. come on now.

 see, always shocked and scared. from his father.

 baby doesn't cooperate for pictures. but hey, we try.


We slept in that boppy for the first part of our lives, we didn't use enough playmats and colorful toys from day 1, mom generally puts baby in pjs alll day because I like cotton, therefore I dont see why my baby should be in fancy clothes to sit around (leading to us having tons of outfits he wore for a few hours and never again) and we struggle with kicking the cats off of the babys thing because... they were my babies at one point. Life is ever-changing.. and all we can hope is that we can change for the best... and love to the best of our ability. 

Today I am thankful for-
daddy helping us clean* baby pullover sweatshirts and mini reese peanut butter cups.

I want to remember how the baby looked laying on his changing mat today (a picture to come in the near future for a blog I am hoping to write) he doesn't quite take up the whole thing yet and there will come a day that he will be much much larger... and I will be sad.

goodnight all.

Crib Wars.(the war is between myself and the crib)

I have been uninspired lately and clearly not feeling witty (as you can see). I was not going to write tonight either, but just wanted to share my thoughts (with potentially no one but myself) so I thought that was at least something.

I am as always, debating what to do about baby sleeping in his crib. I get moments of strong ideas on the subject, then get out of the shower and come down to him sleeping on the boppy the cats have been using as a bed for a month now. So I say okay, maybe I was wrong. I google, and google, and google and only leave thinking ... go with your gut. My gut is just teetering as usual. I still KNOW the crib is way more work for me. Ill need a new system and it will be more work getting him into this routine but I start wondering if now at 15 weeks asking him to fall asleep with the lights on and tv on in the same place he stays awake all day is fair. Also, for the husband and I the lights getting dim around here only means Dan falls asleep earlier. So thats stinky for him too.

If I try to bring up the rocking chair, turn on the sound machine and try to get him into this routine it also sets me up for more failure and tiring thoughts. I don't want to fail at doing it.. I don't want to waste all my thought and effort and have him say no way. I get it is a normal part of life in general, but life gives you enough fail and I'm tired. I kinda want to do it when I know my chances of it all working are better. This also will only require someone sleeping in his room with him every night. I wont ever understand why parents want to walk from one room to another a few times a night? Why they want to get woken up from a deep, comfy bed sleep to go into another room? He will cry longer and get less sleepy as well... so again, I lean towards just wait. Butttt then the obvious other part says... putting him upstairs even for a few hours will be beneficial to everyone. He can learn to have his own place, and the living room can still have lights and tv. Ps- my child can not self soothe and can't even go on a walk when tired bc he will cry and yell and I of course, pick him up. Now, as a side note, my child doesn't NEED to be rocked or fed to sleep. He will go to bed if you're holding in his binky. So I have some faith it's not a total waste, but still I do not know.

So I will take some more time and decide. The days are just ticking by, he's almost four months and then he'll be five and we will stilllllll be sleeping in the living room. I am tired of sleeping in the living room. Its been monthsss.

I am just going to hope for those times when I'll look back, and everything will have fallen into place. I will have made the right decisions, and he'll be an awesome, well adjusted child and I'll be on to having another one (and that one will sleep in his/her crib)

I just needed to vent. I also just need an iphone so I can post pictures, bc I think I say everytime I will. But really who feels like plugging in a camera.

Dude is 15 weeks old today. And still as chokey, and gaggy, and ridiculous as ever. But very very handsome nonetheless.

I am thankful for life bringing you the right opportunities. I am thankful for a healthy family.  I am thankful for knowing myself (I could write numerous posts on this) and knowing there needs to be a balance when having a baby.

I will cherish the way he likes to hold your fingers when trying to go to sleep, the way he loves his mama, the way being a mom allows your mind to wonder how the future will be... and what special moments you'll get to have and how everyone says "he looks just like his dad" his dad is cute. so thats okay. as long as he has my awesome teeth.

Dude needs to chill.

Ugh today was like most days with a thirteen week old baby. Lived in 4 hour increments. Tiring. Anxiety ridden. Hard. A moment or two of good. I am still trying to tell myself its going to get easier sooner than later.

I love him. As I always say. He just likes to cry. I question if maybe sometimes I should just let him cry for more than ten seconds... but I agree with the people who say babies arent crying to be manipulative they want to be consoled. It's hard because parts of me also feel if you always pick them up or tend to them right away they will realize it gets that response. So it's a hard toss up. I have a minute or two every so often where I think ok im letting him cry! I have no more answers... but it doesn't last long and I try to fix it.  Dude just needs to chill. He comes from his father.. as much as I want to remember all the good... it needs to be documented that hes normally choking, gagging, coughing, snorting, stuffy, crying, fussing, kicking, pooping or spitting up. He has happy moments, dont get me wrong but I am just really needing the happier time to come. I cant speak for all new moms but I spend most of my day trying to stop another human from crying or anticipating they soon will be crying and I'll need to stop it. It's taxing. And hard on me. I try to tell myself it could be a lot worse... but its hard to always just be appreciative. I try but it's hard. And on top of it all when his loving father came in... it caught my weirdo child so of guard he cried hysterically when he said hello to him because I guess he didnt' know he came home and it scared him! Come on now child!

I will upload pictures soon. I need some extra sleep. Fingers crossed he gives me two more hours.

This post was lame. Again... I apologize. I will update about my shopping trip soon and maybe some positive new mom stuff. promise

Today I am thankful for-
Naps. Long naps. and snacks. and healthy babies (or so I always pray he is)

I do want to remember how much he SMILES at this little bug stuffed animals on his playmat. He just looks at it and grins from ear to ear like its the prettiest bug he's ever seen. So cute. I'll try to take a picture tomorrow. 

Oops. It's been a few days.

I just want to start out by saying buy buy baby did not take place yet. Sad. I know. I will be attempting to sneak there Sunday when we go to the good ol' dirty jerz to visit some friends. Little does the husband know I'll be sneak attacking him with this idea (unless he reads this).

I do not have any great mom stuff to post sadly... today me and the little guy went to the mall. Why you ask? Because it got very warm out of no where and I have ten pounds to lose, and no spring clothing. So I hit up the ever so expensive old navy and decided to go with solid colored t-shirts. I assume I can throw them on with other solid colored bottoms and call it a day. I am terrible at mixing patterns and buying patterned clothing for some reason. I don't understand why ALLLL stripped shirts have to be going across my wide body instead of up and down, so I rarely wear stripes but I threw in two stripped ones that actually looked okay. Now.. I was on a mission for some mom bottoms. I spotted some sweet linen gauchos!! (hello, rampage days) so maybe I'll get them! Hey old navy says they are back in style.. I'm rolling with it. Anyway... the search continues... and considering this is supposed to be about my baby... he managed to poop, be extra sweaty, throw up on me, pee, nap for like five minutes and be basically, a crappy mall partner. Boo baby.

I did read today on someone's blog that her ribs got wider after having a baby! I swear mine did too.. so I am hoping that's true. Again, I know none of this is important.

As for another mom side note- you know how your baby is not supposed to sleep with blankets? I am pretty sure right now his face is covered with a blanket and what we call his "bunny dog" (I thought it was a bunny, i looked harder- it's a dog) sooo I am not sure how safe it is but he likes to sleep like his dad with his face covered by blankets. On a fun note- he has been sleeping longer stretches. I have been hesitant to say anything because I don't want to jinx it. We will PRAY and see if it lasts. Please. Please. Please. Please

I will work on posting some little man pictures this week.
And I swear next blog I will have anything important to say.

Today I am thankful for..
Sleep* and my husband.

Tonight I missed holding my little man, he had been sitting in his swing while his dad was "watching" him... I wanted to hold him. So we did. And I shook him around and gave him lots of kisses, and he smiled and drooled all over me and loved me right back. Baby H.J.O i love you. Thanks for watching basketball with daddy for ten minutes and not crying.

It started off rocky today at the O'Brien household but we made the best of it... and did my favorite thing... run errands!!!!!!

We tried to be wild, and eat really unhealthy food... (red robin) whoa nelly, bad idea. Don't try this. It was nasty.

We went and bought things under 5 dollars, and browsed at shoes. I only made the husband buy me red starbursts, so all in all a good day for him.

My lovely baby slept the entire time, which is what he normally does...and I thank him greatly for this. He's sweet when he sleeps... so that makes shopping nicer. We came home and we attempted to get some things done, such as replacing mobile batteries, assembling the johnny-its a no go- jump up and trying to entertain a crying baby. Play. cry. eat. cry. diaper. play cry... thats his general existance. I PROMISE when this kid does stuff... this blog will be way more interesting. Also, I am highly debating a dumb iphone so I can take more pictures and upload them quicker. I heart my blackberry... but we'll see.


Anyway, I just wanted to do a quick post to say crying pants has been asleep since about 830pm (it's about 1am now) and he just started his wake up fidget, and as much as I want him to keeeeeep sleeping because mama is super tired... I look forward to seeing his open eyes... picking him up followed by him doing this mid-air position where he stays in a crunched position but stretchesss his back.. and changing his little diaper and half the time he criesss and criesss and half the time he just squirms like a nutball... so it's always a surprise which you'll encounter. And then I feed him and 99% of the time the little man goes back in his rocker, with some fussing, and i put him back to sleep. He endlessly fidgets and flops the whole time though..but I am pretty sure he's mostly asleep... does anyone elses baby do this???

I am already looking forward to having another squirmy baby because I surely love this little pain in my butt.

On a random side note- I am venturing to NJ this week, the land in which husband was raised... and I am going to go to buy buy baby for the first time. I am already dreaming about how it will look... how it will smell... what awesome baby stuff I'll find. I now LOVE shopping for clever baby inventions. The other day at the classy riteaid there was a binky that when dropped, automatically closes!!! Come on now, even if it doesnt work.. someone is a smart cookie. Also advent I think, makes glow in the dark binkys!!!! Nuk, step up your game. Dont make me buy glow in the dark nailpolish to put on ours... I'd like to stay less ghetto. I found magnetic pjs that I.MUST.HAVE. and much to my surprise buy buy baby is pretty much the only place around here that has them... so although 30 on pjs is going to break my heart... there's a goooood chance im going to justify it to myself somehow. Let's hope they are good with a bed bath and beyond coupon. If I had an iphone I would document this glorious trip... but I do not :( so that's a letdown.

Anyway... so today I am thankful for...
fresh spring air* and starbucks, because who isn't, seriously?

I want to remember... the way the baby clenches his fists so tight by his face when he eats. And when he's fussy, he'll generally be calmed by his mama. He must know he hung out inside me for 9 months... other times I'm equally as stinky and he just criesss and criesss but thats beside the point.

I love you baby Hunter. Mama surely does love you. (prudence ava is still very much on the fence about you though)

Hello all!

I finally uploaded a few of the pictures I have been talking about.....

 See I went to the zoo. Documentation.

 Little man is cute. I swear. He photographs terribly like his mother.

 Visiting daddy at work!!!  Ignore dans awkward looking butt. this child will have NO BUTT bc I dont have one either.

 I spent 26 on this seat (on sale at marshalls) because I was too cheap to buy a bumbo.. well he doesnt fit in it properly because he's a sausage. So crap, today I bought one at a consignment sale.

 This was dude just chillin in his swing, checking out tv with no complaints.

 This is my baby cat, prudence. love of my kitty life. shes my baby.

 Today we had a play date. This is Nathalie. She wanted to pet hunter and poke his eye. Hunter also weighs one pound less than her and shes ten months.

The famous target zip up pjs. He lives in them. Sadly I dont have a cute girl to dress up in fancy stuff, so we resort to lame boy clothes. He wears pjs most of the time... this is 20 minutes ago before bed.

He is wearing target in all the other pictures as well... except his star outfit, that was a product of his first trip to childrens place. Dan says I shouldnt put him in stars. Boo hiss.


Anyway, so not a ton to say today. We went to this consignment sale that a friend had told me about. Hunter screamed the entire way there. He doesnt often do this... of course when we have company he acts insane. He was making cry sounds I have never heard so of course I did what I always do... tried to hold the binky while driving. (lucky for all of you I am actually a pretty good driver, so no worries) so when we get there it was like a freakin sporting events. 44757584 SUVs in the parking lot.. no where to park... screaming babies... not fun.


The place was small. Which is dumb. Because there were about 4930473290 moms in there, with their babies strapped to them, holding them, in like a 4 person stroller, or inside of them because it was the mecca for pregnant chicks. I was holding hunter which I rarely do out... but he was so sad from the car ride I just had to and thank god because carrying around the car seat would have been horrific. The place was a hot mess.


I paid 15 for a bumbo, which is dumb. And 7 for this cute soft ride on airplane that he can use when he gets older. Like potentially an xmas present for next year lol.


Anyway tonight is husband helps me out night!!!  I get to wake him up... I used to wake him after like the 3 or 4 am feeding (have I talked about this before lol??) and stick it out because as usual I "feel bad" its not his job, its mine. But when I start to question my stability in life I realize if this is what I need to make it another day... I need to get over it, and so does he. Luckily he helps me with no complaints. Considering tonight precious baby and I woke up at 615pm from a nap... and husband was asleep by 840pm. I feel like spending some extra time with his is needed.  So right, I now wake him up like whenever I want lol like 1am-2am and tell him I'm ready for bed and good luck.

every time this happens, I text him 10 seconds after he goes downstairs and tell him something else like where his binky is located, what toy he might need, what the status of his diaper is lol. Poor
 husband.

Well that was long for not having much to say... but it's ok. Back to reading others blogs (lookatthebirds) check it out!!!!!! She's rad.

Today I am thankful for-
My warm house* my dirty car* my baby cat

The way precious baby smiles when he wakes up- so happy to see us.
the kicking,kicking,kicking,kicking he does on his changing pad. At least he's active :) love him.

Today was actually a rather good day. I know, crazy right? My child was nice to me today and I find that when he's nice to me I am happier and when I am happier I am nicer to him and love him even more than normal. So that's a win win and he should continue the pattern. He was a happy baby today. He slept and ate (I let him have 8ozs in a few bottles, he doesnt cry hysterically after so I assume why not) apparently he's hungry and I deprive him of 4394838ozs a day. He also was content in so many places! He went for a walk, visited daddy at work for the first time- you put him out in the fresh air and generally he'll fall asleep, he sat in the kitchen with me most of the day in his rocker thing while I cleaned and read blogs and it was dandyyyy!!!  (pretty sure that was a run on sentence)

Happy allll day- so the husband wants dairy queen (were pretty bad influences on each other, if it weren't for me he would hardly ever eat ice cream) so I left this happy, calm, quiet child in his swing- he's sitting up so he likes that! in front of the tv and he likes that! clean, dry, bib on to catch on the drool (stupid acid reflux) and I go to dairy queen and remember I wanted to take a moonlit stroller walk asap. Tonight was perfect! So I pull back in the driveway five minutes later and hear screaming. Jesus. Who knows what happened, maybe he sensed I was gone and thought I left him with daddy for life but whatever it was, was lame. So I still insisted bringing him outside for this walk thinking the night air would calm him. We got three feet and all there was, was crying. We attempted to go a little further because I forced the husband out (when he rather have sat on the couch) but I had to hold him because he was pissed. So alas it was a fail. We will try again later. because I have hopes of this awesome night time walk stuff.

In terms of my new mother stuff, I know you are not supposed to compare babies. I mean yes, the hours on google doesnt help but I havent googled much lately which is rad but looking at these blogs now got me thinking... my child doesnt seem as advanced. I am not worried persay. I just worry that I didnt dangle enough colorful objects in front of him from birth because I certainly didnt. My thought was he can hardly see in front of him therefore what's the point I rather watch live with kelly! so I'll just hold him. That I haven't pushed tummy time enough because I havent. Other babies seem to sit up so nicely- this kid is like a sausage and when you try to sit him up he straightens out and gets pissed. He doesn't even really try to roll over, he is three months today actually! he does do this weird thing with his head but I dont really get what he's attempting to do... so I tell him to stop. Poor kid still tries to get his fingers but can't... so again I often tell him to give up. I promise him later in life I will be more encouraging but someone needs to be the realist right??? I just worry... I try to tell myself he will do stuff in due time so all I can do is hope.

I do love him to pieces though. The kid is so damn cute, and its so sad because a-other people probably dont agree lol and b- he looks terrrible in pictures so you cant capture the cuteness. I love to kiss his wet little mouth and smell his sweatiness after he sleeps in his car seat or anywhere really because I cover him up with too many blankets.

I promise I will upload pictures soon. Not that anyone is waiting lol but I guess some visuals would help. Also he wore pants today that are so cute I put him in them to sleep too because I loved them that much. A picture is needed for those alone.

I took a natural sleep aid tonight.. I am PRAYING it allows me to wake up easily when he fusses because his crying hurts my brain. When he fidgets in the night I hear him, and feed him. Its lame because I need to go into the kitchen to heat up the water in his bottle (because who really wants to drink coldddd liquid that tastes like cheese powder?!?! he's on nutramigen) no one. So this is also why he still sleeps in the living room next to me... sleeping in his crib would triple the work I have to do.

We shall see.

Pictures soon. I promise.

Today I am thankful for-
my cats adjusting mostly well to the baby* open windows* baby gap.

It is 2:23am. Ugh. I would like to be sleeping but for some reason my body just doesn't understand how night time works. I was a zombie today for the most part, yet am I tired now? No. It makes me sad.

Anyway, today we went out our first mom and baby trip to the zoo! Along with some friends and their children (or nanny children as I like to call them). Hunter slept the entire time, I made Jackie take a picture so I would have documentation when he is older. I was reminded I dont really like the zoo. I generally find looking in the cage to see what's there, yucky. More than half the time I found myself saying "ew" or "ugh gross" the cats and stuff were cute, and maybe some small monkeys but that was about all. I guess the bird/ducks or whatever they were weren't bad either. Wait, I liked the polar bears too. Okay, so maybe it grew on me... but I'll surely leave the zoo outtings up to the husband when he gets older. Along with taking him to public restrooms, I gave that responsibility to him long ago.

I will post the two pictures I took there, tomorrow. 

Going along with the appreciation theme I was hoping this blog would provide me- I am going to add something I appreciate about precious baby each blog as well.

So- today I am thankful for-
fresh air* baby boys wearing leg warmers*friends with children.

At this last feeding, he didnt scream when the bottle was done. That was nice in itself but when attempting to burp him he laid his head on my shoulder and once or twice closed his sweet little eyes. He doesnt really enjoy laying on us anymore (which frankly im okay with, because I didnt want to have that child that only slept on our chests) So i looked at that sweet, sweet little face and was thankful for fresh air (note above) for making him tired. And I will try to make sure he gets more- so he is tired at night.
So I am thankful for that, and the sweet little suckles and lip smacks he makes while sleeping. The kid is a squirmy dude, gets it from his ridiculous father.

goodnight my precious baby, sleep well, dream, and for once could you sleep 4.5 hours?!?! please???

 http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/08/new-road.html
if you haven't read it yet... start... here's a good one :)




Ohhhh, a happy little Tuesday. It is Tuesday, right lol?

I am tired of course. I got about 4 hours of sleep in the last 24. It's going to get easier right? I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.. but I have told myself I can make it 60 more days of sleepless nights. Partly my choice because my quiet time is this late night time (did I already talk about that?) anyway... I don't see him ever sleeping. Precious baby sleeps 3.5-4 hours no more ever, between feedings. I am tired. I know I said that.

Today the topic of new motherhood that came up was working. I have always, always said that I just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom (potentially just a stay-at-home person lolol) but this few months has been trying. I have always been independent, too independent at that. Needing my husband has been a nice change I think.... but not having my own independence has been so hard. I've struggled so greatly with it... and each day I go back and forth about working. Would it be worth the money, to pay someone to watch him? No, probably not, Do I want him around sick little children all day at a day care? No, probably not. The socialization would be nice though, right? Yes, I think so. What would my family say? What would my husband think about paying? Would my baby resent me? Would all the cool stuff happen while at daycare? Would I regret going back?

All I know is that I don't know. One thing I have learned over the last few months (there hasn't been much) is that I can trust my instinct. There's no rule book. He is still alive! (even after I gave him prune juice and rice and oatmeal lol) and I went with my gut and it all worked out. (Have I continued the rice and oatmeal- no but at least I tried). As any new mom I am a psycho google-er. It hasn't gotten me anywhere either, just more confused. Yet it has given me something to do in the wee hours of the night.

I always trust life. It will work itself out... I am lucky to have a husband who supports me, at least he pretends to, in most of my decisions. I just struggle with watching his every baby moment, or feeling like my old self. Three months probably isn't long enough to make a decision because I have 28 years of myself... its clearly hard to give that up. But we shall see.

On the crafty side of life- I am going to fancy up my powder room next month! I am using my free brain space time to dream up what I'll do!!!  And I look forward to posting pictures.

Today I am thankful for -
Happy baby time (he let me clean things today without crying)* kellogs 100 fruit bars (the ones that taste like poptarts)* daydreaming :)

No joyful noise today.

Just joyful photos.

Things I am thankful for today:
Plug ins * Happy babies * Rhinestone covered flip flops (old navy- get yourself some!)
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=60979&vid=1&pid=898576&scid=898576032
(how do I put a name instead of the link, my old brain does not recall)

The hope of Spring was in the air today! Our first weekend home all together in a few weeks... we did my favorite thing... ERRANDS! I love me some errands. I always need "stuff". Batteries. Coffee creamer. Shampoo. Cat food (always need cat food sadly). I wish I didnt always need stuff but I somehow do.

We had our first diaper/pee/spit up covered outfit today. I was just trying to print myself out some lovely pictures for frames I purchased and precious baby starts to fuss.  The husband proceeds to pick him up and realizes hes covered in pee. Hm okay, I can see why that would be unhappy sooo I take him to change him. Something that is hard for me.. public restrooms super gross me out. For some reason I can handle the changing table in the target family bathroom a little better. I cover it with the disposable covers I have and realize his whole outfit is soaked in pee, and spit up. (bad mom didnt change his diaper before we went out, yet I feel the brand of luvs normally holds tight, well NOT today) so I cant manage to put all his wet clothes back on. Parts of me were tempted to just let him just wear the diaper until I went to get him a new outfit but I contemplated the ghetto-ness factor here and went with his sweatshirt and wet pants. I then "compromised husbands morals". He was mortified I would pick out an outfit, put it on the baby, and then pay for it later when I paid!!!!!!!!! Kid had such a hard time with this. I told him we werent the first parents, and we wouldnt be the last. The cashier and check out said the exact same thing.

I'm always right.

Lesson learned- its time to start bringing a backup outfit. New mom, noted.

On the joyful noise note- the sleeper I put him in was a creamy white with light lime green stripes and it was brought to my attention he looks gorgeous in green. Small wins.

I hope everyone had a fabulous touch of spring day.
its 11:11, I'll make a wish the baby has a restful night.

until we talk again... take a walk, and listen :)

CRAFTY PEOPLE .....

Have you ever done anything fun with scrap booking paper??
Please show me pictures if so :)
I love it... but do not scrap book so I need a new idea.

A tiring and successful day.

 Things I am thankful for today :
Rainboots * Glitter * Wall decals

Today precious baby cried and whined all day. I don't understand babies. It might have been something I did (formula switch, long and boring story) could have been acid reflux? could have been boredom? I think sometimes he gets tired of seeing me all day, everyday. I think he likes to go out sometimes, even though he cries, because at least it's a change of scenery. I should have taken him for a walk... but I was too tired. I don't understand babies!

But because this blog is supposed to be dedicated to joyful noise... I'll move on.

Strange happening today at the store...
While browsing happily at Joanne Fabrics, fascinated by all the things crafty people come up... I was casually checking out the adornment sections (I think crafty people call it the "trim" section) and my phone rings. Ahhh it was the nurse from precious babies doctors office. I called earlier and asked for someone to call me back (about the long and boring formula switch thing). I said told her about his bowel movements because what do babies do really other than poop, sleep, eat and cry (every so often we get some smiles and coo-ing too)

Exact quote - " he had like four bowel movements in four hours, don't you think that's a lot?"

Well, did the scraggly looking lady in the aisle, with her hair in a insane-o messy bun, and light wash tapered leg jeans, give me a LOOK of disgust. Not only did she give me this look, she LEFT the aisle to go tell her mother in the other aisle! Then when I walked by... still on the phone... talking about baby poop she went out of he way to give me another look of pure horror! Like I was scum. Which although I looked a hot mess, (my mom would have asked if I brushed my hair because I never do - I think it gives me the messy-morning-hair-look. Like the cool high school girls do. They always look way better) I am not really used to getting this type of look.

If I wasn't on the phone I would have asked her, "Do you have ANY children, at all?" "How about like even a cat or dog? You've never spoken about their bowel movements?"
If she hasn't, I feel like she's the odd one here. Right???


Anyway, on the joyful noise note the blog I posted before, It's the small things. Has still continued to rock my world ..... she has made me start this blog. Think about the ways I will be a better mother. And last but not least - GET CRAFTY!

I will post pictures tomorrow (I'm sure the excitement of this will keep you up all night, whoever happens to be reading this lol) of my little project tonight!!!

I look forward to more crafting projects to come.
And not that this counts but the amount of the sticky wall art decal things they have these days have come a longggg way and frankly, I'm impressed.