Dude needs to chill.

Ugh today was like most days with a thirteen week old baby. Lived in 4 hour increments. Tiring. Anxiety ridden. Hard. A moment or two of good. I am still trying to tell myself its going to get easier sooner than later.

I love him. As I always say. He just likes to cry. I question if maybe sometimes I should just let him cry for more than ten seconds... but I agree with the people who say babies arent crying to be manipulative they want to be consoled. It's hard because parts of me also feel if you always pick them up or tend to them right away they will realize it gets that response. So it's a hard toss up. I have a minute or two every so often where I think ok im letting him cry! I have no more answers... but it doesn't last long and I try to fix it.  Dude just needs to chill. He comes from his father.. as much as I want to remember all the good... it needs to be documented that hes normally choking, gagging, coughing, snorting, stuffy, crying, fussing, kicking, pooping or spitting up. He has happy moments, dont get me wrong but I am just really needing the happier time to come. I cant speak for all new moms but I spend most of my day trying to stop another human from crying or anticipating they soon will be crying and I'll need to stop it. It's taxing. And hard on me. I try to tell myself it could be a lot worse... but its hard to always just be appreciative. I try but it's hard. And on top of it all when his loving father came in... it caught my weirdo child so of guard he cried hysterically when he said hello to him because I guess he didnt' know he came home and it scared him! Come on now child!

I will upload pictures soon. I need some extra sleep. Fingers crossed he gives me two more hours.

This post was lame. Again... I apologize. I will update about my shopping trip soon and maybe some positive new mom stuff. promise

Today I am thankful for-
Naps. Long naps. and snacks. and healthy babies (or so I always pray he is)

I do want to remember how much he SMILES at this little bug stuffed animals on his playmat. He just looks at it and grins from ear to ear like its the prettiest bug he's ever seen. So cute. I'll try to take a picture tomorrow.